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The Prequel: Week 20

September 28, 2011

September 13, 2010

This morning I woke up, and just enjoyed the feeling of contentment and happiness that washed over me. I’m officially halfway through this pregnancy, and, along with this milestone, I have been feeling a new sense of peace, excitement, and contentment. I am hoping this lasts for the rest of the pregnancy!

This morning, I woke up to soft beams of sunlight lazily trickling through the curtains. It is overcast out, so the room still had a cover of darkness only slightly brightened by the sky outdoors. Under the cool mounds of my blanket, I patted my round belly to the rhythm of the water streaming from TG’s shower as he prepared for another work day. I had a few minutes to myself before I needed to get out of bed to pack TG a lunch. Usually, I would roll over and reach desperately for a few added minutes of sleep…but, today, I spent it with MD. I pictured MD in my belly, curled up and cozy…I can’t wait to meet our little love.

I know the months ahead contain more exhaustion, sleepless nights, and frustration that I can probably imagine. I hear stories of postpartum, of mothers unable to breastfeed, of babies who will not stop crying. And, they do frighten me and make me wary of whether or not I am actually prepared for this giant adventure that lies ahead.

But, something in me is pulling me forward. A glimpse of a time in the future when I will hold MD and breathe his/her scent in, while whispering words of love and comfort. The knowledge that one day I will see my baby’s face light up with recognition in seeing TG and me. The anticipation of waiting for the day when our love will laugh and giggle and then sigh contentedly while falling asleep in our arms.

Maybe this is all the mother being born in me. Whatever it is, it’s nice, and I like it.

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