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The Prequel: Thwub

September 28, 2011

June 7, 2010

Today marked TG and my first trip to the OB-GYN.

So far, I’ve been pretty lucky in the whole morning sickness arena in terms of actually throwing up (yes, I love the details!), although I hear they really start to kick in during the 6th week. Guess what week I’m on? Yikes!

I’ve been having a lot of nausea, which leads to a loss in appetite…but then I also have this constant growly feeling in my stomach like I have to eat something. NOW.

But the biggest problem for me has been the cramping. Last Tuesday, June 1st, I woke up with the most excruciating cramps. It felt likes my insides were being torn apart in opposite directions, and I thought I was going to throw up from the pain. They were only painful to that extent that one night, but I’ve also been feeling some deep and annoying cramps on and off on a daily basis. No blood though, thank goodness.

So, to be honest, I was feeling pretty nervous heading to the doctor’s office today. The doctor I had spoken to on the phone (a different one than the one I was going to see) made it seem like there could be some reason for concern. I think in the back of my head I was preparing for the worst.

When TG and I saw our little pea (literally, that’s the size of our baby right now!)…I can’t describe it. I don’t know what it is, but I tend to start laughing nervously and babbling when I’m really excited. I remember having had to bite my cheek to keep myself from giggling out loud on our wedding day when walking down the aisle towards TG, and I did it again today. I fixed my eyes on that pulsating light and out poured my nervous chatter. “Omg! There it is! Do you see it? This is crazy!! What are we doing here??”

I couldn’t believe that was our baby. I was that little pea’s mom. TG was that little pea’s dad. That little pea belonged to us.

You think we got excited with that blinking light? You should have heard us when the doctor found your heartbeat, little one. Your heartbeat!! The doctor wasn’t sure we would be able to hear it, since we’re still so early on in our pregnancy, but within seconds we heard it echo throughout the room. Thwub thwub thwub thwub. That’s what it sounds like.

You belong to us, little one. Whether planned or not, prepared or not, you belong to us. I wish I could say you hit the jack pot when it comes to parents, but it would only be the half-truth. Your dad is amazing. You’re going to have to show your mom a little bit of patience, but I’m catching up here, little one, I’m catching up. My love for you is filling up, and soon it will flow and pour and gush forth to catch you and place you here in my arms. You are my baby.

Oops, I mean our baby. TG always reminds me of that. ;)

The best part of today? Hearing that you are a healthy size with a nice, rhythmic heartbeat. Your heartbeat is around a 120 right now, and it should be at 120-160. The doctor said not to worry though, that they usually wait until later to do the ultrasound, so another week or two and your hearbeat should have picked up more by then.

Afterwards, TG and I picked up some lemonade and the pregnancy Bible, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, from Borders. Then, upon TG’s insistence, we stopped by Buy Buy Baby to check out the strollers and cribs and rockers for funsies. We know it’s way too early for that, but we’re allowing ourselves to soak in each drop of excitement and joy as we become more and more open to God’s plan for us as a family.

TG is leaving early in the morning to fly back to Indiana to finish moving us out of our apartment. I’m so sad that he is going alone, and am honestly missing him already. I wish I could be there to help with the moving, and to make sure TG doesn’t run himself to the ground and stops for a break now and then. But, for now, my job is to stay here, do my work (which I had to catch up on tonight after the afternoon appointment), and take care of our little one.

Thank you, Lord, for another beautiful day. A day of health, a day of family, a day of hope.


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